Marriage by Design
- Pastor Brian Loudermilk
- 2 days ago
- 4 min read
Ephesians 5:21-33
21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Marriage by Design
I. Marriage Is Designed as a Chosen Covenant
A. God designed marriage.
Genesis 1:27–28; Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2
1. Choose someone who shares your faith.
Equally yoked
2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”
2. Leave and cleave. Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
B. Marriage is a chosen covenant.
1. Covenant is different from a contract.
Genesis 15
A contract says, “I’ll fulfill my part as long as you fulfill yours.”
A covenant says, “I am committing myself to you.”
2. Marriage is intended as a lifelong commitment.
Matthew 19:4–6: 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Biblical reasons for divorce:
Sexual immorality: Matthew 5:32 and 19:9
Abandonment by unbelieving spouse: 1 Corinthians 7:15.
Abuse
3. Sexual intimacy was designed for the marriage covenant.
1 Corinthians 7:1–5; Hebrews 13:4
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Sex isn’t merely physical; God designed it as part of the intimacy, exclusivity, and oneness of marriage.
C. Marriage represents Christ and His Church.
Ephesians 5:25–32
II. Marriage Is Designed with Purposeful Roles
A. Both husband and wife live surrendered to Christ.
Ephesians 5:21: Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
B. The husband is called to sacrificial leadership.
Ephesians 5:25–30: 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.
• Love as Christ loved.
• Sacrifice rather than demand.
• Serve rather than dominate.
• Protect and nurture.
• Take responsibility for the spiritual health of the home.
Biblical headship isn’t permission to control; it’s responsibility to sacrifice.
C. The wife is called to willing respect and partnership.
Ephesians 5:22–24, 33: Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
• Respect her husband.
• Support godly leadership.
• Bring her God-given wisdom, gifts, strength, and perspective into the marriage.
• Walk beside him as the corresponding helper God designed in Genesis 2:18.
• Nurture the home.
Submission never means lesser value.
III. Marriage Will Require Grace and Forgiveness
Colossians 3:12–14 12 Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Two imperfect people cannot build a healthy marriage without grace.
Your marriage doesn’t need two perfect people. It needs two people continually being transformed by Jesus.
IV. Marriage is Designed for Joy
Proverbs 5:181 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth,
Enjoy your spouse.
Laugh together.
Date each other.
Celebrate each other.
Build memories.
Protect friendship.
Keep pursuing one another.
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